The DMZ
A recommended demilitarized replacement for the current NATO (military) spelling alphabet is listed in the following table. Let’s all add clarity and understanding of all peoples to lessen hostilities.
| Character | NATO | DMZ | Phonetic | Explained |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| A | Alfa | Aesop | ee-sop | A simply fabulist storyteller. |
| B | Bravo | Bdelium | del-ee-uhm | Not myrrh. |
| C | Charlie | Cnidaria | nai-dar-ee-ah | Anemones, corals, jellyfishes, oh my. |
| D | Delta | Dnieper | nee-per | Old man river found in Mother Russia. |
| E | Echo | Euphemism | yoo-fa-miz-um | Pleasantries spoken of the dearly departed and urban outdoorsmen. |
| F | Foxtrot | Fjord | fy-awrd | Bostonian’s F-150. |
| G | Gulf | Gnarly | naar-lee | Negative pirates who don’t say ‘arrr’. |
| H | Hotel | Heir | ehr | To heir is privilege, to forgive is a tax deduction. |
| I | India | Immediate | ee-mee-dee-at | As ε ⇨ 0, Tnow + ε. |
| J | Juliett | Jalapeno | ha-la-pay-nyo | Hola from Xalapa, my peppery amigos. |
| K | Kilo | Knight | nite | I say ‘Ni!’. |
| L | Lima | Llama | ya-ma | Head monk of the Andes. |
| M | Mike | Mnemonic | nuh-maa-nik | A memory device that helps us remember that: every good boy does fine. |
| N | November | Nth | enth | A scratching ent with an aitch. |
| O | Oscar | Ouch | ouch | Coyote, anvil, potential ⇨ kinetic ⇨ impact energy conversion. |
| P | Papa | Psycho | sai-kow | Putting the thrill back into showering. |
| Q | Quebec | Qatar | kuh-ter | 50,000 years of human habitation. |
| R | Romeo | Regurgitate | ree-gur-jah-tate | Vomit! I regurgitate. Vomit! |
| S | Sierra | Syzygy | siz-i-jee | Alignment of three celestrial objects or concepts such as a sauerkraut-pastrami-rye perfection. |
| T | Tango | Tsar | zaar | Only half as strange as bizarre. |
| U | Uniform | Udder | a-der | A complete disaster, but don’t cry over squirt milk. |
| V | Victor | Vacillate | va-sa-late | Maybe there’s a better ‘V’ word. Maybe not. |
| W | Whiskey | Writer | rai-ter | Better career opportunites than a wronger. Maybe. |
| X | X-Ray | Xylophone | zai-luh-fown | An old land-line telephone made of wood. |
| Y | Yankee | Yttrium | ih-tree-uhm | Chemical element 39. |
| Z | Zulu | Zyzzyva | ziz-uh-vuh | S. American weevil who does crop evil. |
Usage Example
Dude Asks:
Hey Bro, what’s your WiFi password?
You Say:
Cnidaria Aesop Nth Ouch Fjord Mnemonic Immediate Syzygy Tsar Yttrium
Psycho Udder Knight Euphemism
Dude Hears:
nai-dar-ee-ah ee-sop enth ouch fy-awrd nuh-maa-nik
ee-mee-dee-at siz-i-jee zaar ih-tree-uhm sai-kow A-der
nite yoo-fa-miz-um
You Think:
Inappropriate web surfing - BLOCKED!
(password: canofmistypuke)